Marriage, like all partnerships, requires effort. In the United States, an estimated 50% of marriages end in divorce, and about 33% find it challenging to maintain romantic relationships. As I look back over the 57 years I was married, I think about the “glue” that kept it together.

What “ingredients” are needed to make marriage work?

1. Physical affection and touching, such as hugging, kissing, and holding hands, are not just gestures. They are the language of love in a marriage, conveying a sense of security, intimacy, and love.
2. Sexual affection and compatibility
3. Keeping the “spark” alive with inventive occasions such as candlelight dinners or adding “newness” in the relationship, such as pretending to go out on a first date or role-playing.
4. Compassion for each other, especially when one of you needs support and understanding.
5. Respect and consideration for each other’s strengths and weaknesses, as well as a genuine interest in and support for each other’s activities, opinions, thoughts, and feelings, are essential.
6. Making time for each other is essential, especially when there are children and other demands. When this does not happen, the heart can wander to affairs that one later regrets.
7. Be willing to share and disclose personal feelings and life goals with each other.
8. Power is fully shared, and disagreements are rationally negotiated.
9. Share in the financial decisions.
10. Be open to working on the relationship, which may involve making accommodations and/or negotiating the decisions to be made.

It is the willingness and commitment to WANT to make the relationship work. Sometimes, couples need psychological counseling if they have hit a roadblock in their relationship but want guidance on how to make it work.

Clear communication is the lifeline of any successful partnership. It’s not just about talking but also about listening and understanding. It’s about making your partner feel heard and valued. These factors are not all-inclusive and may vary depending on the type of relationship. However, clear communication about the roles, responsibilities, and shared goals is crucial for a successful partnership.

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