Cover of The Midnight Library by Matt Haig.

I recently read Matt Haig’s book, The Midnight Library, in which the main character, Nora Seed, feels that death would be a relief because of all her disappointments and regrets. She did not feel useful and felt alone with no one left in her life. Many times, this loneliness in society can lead to depression and, eventually, suicide attempts, as in Nora’s case.

Nora tried to kill herself by cutting her wrists, but after this attempt, she realized that she wanted to live. She finds herself in the confines of a “mysterious library” where she is offered options to re-live her regrets and discover how her life would have been. She becomes suspended between life and death. Nora finds herself becoming more accepting of life’s disappointments and of herself without needing approval from others. It is important to discover that life has regrets for all of us, yet we truly want to live. Life provides so many reasons not to die.

In reading The Midnight Library, I felt that it was so personal to the author that he, Matt Haig, must have experienced suicidal thoughts himself. This propelled me to read his second book, Reasons to Stay Alive. And yes, I found that he had been suicidal.

Front & back cover of Matt Haig’s Reasons to Stay Alive book.

I want to share some of his ideas from his second book. Depression is a feeling of no hope, no future, and being completely alone and isolated. “Depression makes you think things are wrong.” Depression is a mind that feels like it is on a fire of pain and a complete inability to feel pleasure. By attempting suicide, death is where the pain of life overtakes the will to live. Warning signs of depression are fatigue; low self-esteem; psychomotor retardation/slow movement and slow speech; irritability; frequent crying episodes; anhedonia (inability to experience pleasure in anything); and sudden introversion. Some people have felt themselves disintegrating.

With depression, one may feel anxiety also. To treat anxiety, you want to slow down your breathing, accept and not fight it, let go with relaxation techniques, and live in the present moment (self-mindfulness).

Haig’s suggestions for ways to deal with depression include:

• walking the dog,
• thoughts that tomorrow will be a better day,
• exercising,
• yoga,
• absorbing oneself in things or people one loves,
• warm sunshine,
• doing something that one dreads,
• focusing more on the world outside one’s mind, such as writing,
• reading,
• traveling,
• running,
• listening to music and talking, and
• forcing yourself to go to a different place

Face-to-face communication is of the utmost importance, and in this technological world, it can be challenging.

Haig suggests that speaking about being depressed helps. Both spoken and written words keep us connected to the world and “helps connect us to each other and to our true selves.” Words can set you free! Simply talking or writing about what one is feeling is therapy and brings hope for survival. If we can encourage people to be more open about their feelings, perhaps suicide can be prevented. Anger, depression, and regrets in life have been shown to be related to suicide. Going to therapy to safely act out these emotions is helpful to many who have difficulty expressing their feelings.

September is Suicide Awareness Month. Get the word out about the Suicide Prevention Lifeline.org or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or 988.

Graphic from the National Alliance on Mental Illness