Supporting people when they need help is amazing; however, there are many different ways to do it. The first and most important thing to consider is how the person wants to be supported. We tend to want to give what we would want to receive, but this does not always work for the person we are trying to support!

I can give you an example. Have you noticed that when people are sick, they want different things? You may like a lot of attention, to be snuggled, and to be checked on often, so that is how you treat your partner when they are sick. However, it turns out your partner wants nothing more than to be completely and totally left alone, even to the point of asking you to quietly slide food into the room—no talking, please! So, how do we navigate this?

The answer is simple-communicate! People are not mind-readers. No matter how much you care for someone, you can’t know their needs unless you ask. The question, whether it’s to someone close to you or not, for an illness or another reason, can be as straightforward as, “How can I best support you?” This open communication empowers you to provide the most effective support.

Please hear the answer given and respect what they say. Remember that sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is be a shoulder to lean on when necessary and nothing more.

Let’s not forget the importance of reciprocity in relationships. In relationships, it’s important to be there for others and communicate your needs for mutual understanding and support.