The beginning of my future

Nelson Mandela once said, “No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite” (Long Walk to Freedom). This sentiment resonates deeply in the context of America’s ongoing struggle with racial and social divisions.

The reality of this struggle hit home for my family as they left Maryland during the racial unrest of the 1960s, driven by violence against Black Americans.

Upon relocating to California, they committed to raising their children without racial prejudice, fostering connections with people from diverse backgrounds. Through a YMCA program called Friendship Families, they hosted international students, providing mutual support and nurturing understanding our shared humanity. Over the years, we welcomed students from India, Africa, China, and other countries into our home.

My children also grew up learning that international students were human beings with the same hopes and feelings. Mandela’s love over hate was affirmed in these interactions. My children learned that differences enrich our lives. They are not the reasons for anger.

One of my relatives back East worried that I was exposing my children to danger by welcoming international students into my home. But when I explained how valuable these experiences were for teaching acceptance and understanding, she began to see the benefits and that they were not in any danger.

Twenty years ago, I joined Fullerton College students Alex Tijerina. Delia Maldonado and Randy Thomas to address bullying in schools.

Bullying manifests in anger, abuse, and exclusion. Teachers and principals, already overwhelmed, often lack the time and resources to address bullying effectively, sometimes dismissing it as “kids being kids.”
In response, we designed an after-school program to educate the community about the importance of self-advocacy in children to creat inclusive environments. We wanted a society where people do not bully others because of differences in skin color, abilities, religion, or sexual preferences.

Currently, the nation faces a worrying trend of polarization akin to bullying. Many of our representatives in Congress seem too fearful to speak up on our behalf. As citizens, we must unite as a nation, engage with one another, and work together to negotiate our differences instead of thoughtlessly following authoritarian paths.

Friends and family often refuse to discuss their differences, and freedom of speech has been compromised as a result. Open dialogue about the policies and decisions that shape our nation should be a central topic of discussion. Division and a balance of power were built into our democracy as safeguards against authoritarian rule. Sadly, this safeguard is faltering. Too often, disagreements escalate into hostility, and in extreme cases, some believe violence or even assassination is the only solution to opposing viewpoints.

The organization, Moral Courage, reminds us that it is every person’s responsibility to reach thoughtful moral conclusions about the issues we face. They advocate for skills that allow us to listen and speak respectfully without reacting emotionally or defensively to our differences.
To truly reach the truth, we must seek full context from multiple media sources, rather than soundbites, from just one media source.

You can learn how to use these tools more effectively by visiting: http://www.moralcourage.org