Errors in Communicating

Bad communication creates more problems than can be believed. Good communication solves more than can be imagined! Simple statements, but how can you improve your communication? Let’s look at common errors and then the ways to improve!

The first error is to not communicate at all. If you do not share what is going on inside of you, your wants, needs and desires, there is never a chance that you will get those met. If you have an issue with someone, that issue will never be resolved if you do not talk it out. Even just a simple thing like conveying information, do not assume that the person can read your mind.

The solution to all of these is to say what is going on for you. Some conversations are easier than others. But make sure that when you are trying to communicate that the environment is calm, no running around, no phones on, no other conversations trying to go on at the same time. Make sure that you are centered and that you are clear what you want to communicate.

You may want to practice first or write down your main points. Especially if it is a difficult topic for you, you may want to ask your partner to do the same. If it is merely information, you may simply ask if you had informed them of this before.

Another common error is to not listen. While someone is talking to you, if you have already started working on your response, you are not listening to what is being said. You are missing important information. Stop. Get present. Just listen. You can decide on your response after your partner has stopped talking. You can ask for a minute to formulate your response.

One of the most common errors is not communicating gently. Watch your tone. Watch your body language. Watch the words that you choose. Do not aim to harm. Aim to create a bridge of communication. You will actually get what you want much more often!

The last thing to be careful of is assumptions. Do not assume that your partner is trying to cause you harm. But instead, assume that your partner is on your side and wants a loving, equitable solution as well!

These skills take practice, but you can do this! And it is so worth it!