What should you do when you find out that you made a mistake? We have many options, some better than others.

Let’s look at the not-so-good options.

We can deny that a mistake was made. However, gaslighting is never healthy, especially if you want to build trust in your relationship. Denying a reality does not make you look good. The bottom line is that denial breaks down trust and relationships.

You can blame someone else. That may work for a while or even in some situations. But denying responsibility, again, destroys trust and relationships. You can blame someone else. But that also only works for so long.

Let’s look at the better options.

You can stop, take a deep breath, and own your error. Surprisingly, this one option, the scariest one, actually makes more people respect you, makes more people trust you, and truly helps heal relationships. You may think that doesn’t make sense. You just admitted that you messed up! Why would someone trust you now?

The truth is that we all mess up. All of us. Often. Pretending that you are somehow above all of that does not engender trust. We all know that perfection is not possible. So, if you are lying about this, what else are you lying about?

Do you want to make owning up even better? After you admit that you made a mistake, ask how you can repair it. Taking responsibility and wanting to fix the problem is amazingly powerful and healing. Doing this works for all kinds of relationships, both personal and professional.

Owning and fixing the mistake helps you become the human you want to be.