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BALANCE & CHANGE: Do you know what you want?

In your relationships with others, are there things that you are missing? In your job, is there a change that you are looking for? In your life, is there something else that you are wanting?

So, have you asked for it?

Many people have a very difficult time asking for what they want.

There are many reasons for this. One is you may not be clear about what you are actually wanting. A vague sense of unhappiness does not always translate to a clear answer of what is missing.

The first step is to make it very clear to yourself, very concrete, what is it that you are wanting?

The next step is to be able to communicate that to someone else.

There are things that can get in the way of that. The most important may be your not feeling that you are worthy of getting what you want. This is an important thing to work on since it will have a negative impact on many areas of your life.

If this is something that you struggle with, please consider seeing a psychotherapist. The next part is figuring out the words to say. There is a balance between not being too submissive and not being too aggressive. Being able to say, “This is what I want,” without putting down the person you are talking to or yourself, can be tricky.

Practice it. Just saying exactly what you want, without a threat or an apology. You can do this! It just takes practice!